“Once more into…

Quote

“Once more into the fray.
Into the greatest fight I’ll ever know.
Live and die on this day.
Live and die on this day.”

this quote is a poem, and to me, it meams everything  it motivates me to do anything. It is in the movie “The Grey” and its a very strong influence.

The way I feel.

About 4 months ago I got 2 weeks or so of odd feelings. I hated the world. Everything seemed stupid too me. I was a douche to everyone for absolutely no reason. I was convinced it being a form of depression because it runs in the family. I told my mother and of course she told my sister and told my father. I felt like a loser. I hid in a hoodie all day every day. Then, like a bird swooping up a fish, it was gone. I felt normal again. Happy as can be.

Its back. It started earlier today, at around 3.. Its 8 now. Its not as bad but I know it will be in the morning. I’m ready to hide in my sweatshirt. Cut off from the world. Surviving in my bubble of darkness. I know, or at least I hope, that it wont last as long as last time. I put my headphones in and am refusing to listen to the depressing music my body craves. Instead I’ll listen to happy music..or something that will keep my mind off everything.

Now this feeling of darkness, could just be s figment of my imagination, or it could be real as the breath in my lungs. Regardless I feel as if I should wrote it on here. I have 0 followers I’m pretty sure. And like 3 views. So I’m pretty sure in the fact that this will most likely not be read, and instead left in the dust from the other more relevant, and exciting stories on WordPress. But if remarkably, someone does awkwardly fall upon my story, I would like you to know, that no, I’m not going to kill my self or harm myself. I am just depressed. And it will go away. Thank you for reading this.

Mack

Life with OCD.

Hey everyone! This is a short post about OCD. I have minor OCD and felt like you all should know what its like if you don’t have it. First of all, I have MINOR. Minor is not Major. So mine isn’t that bad, but still bugs me.

Soooo what is OCD? OCD is “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” which means that you obsessively compulsivley do something. Some people need everything to be even. My girlfriend has major OCS and everything she looks at has to be even. If she can’t get it to be even, she goes nuts. Sometimes even crys. Its a horrible thing to watch.

My OCD is quite peculiar. I, for some reason, have to do everything in a rhythm. I constantly tap my feet to the same beat. When at school, it takes me 5 minutes to unlock my locker. It takes this long because I have to turn it a certain amount of times to the rhythm inside my head.
Also, sometimes I have to touch everything. When in Home Depot or Lowes, I HAVE to run my hands on the shelves as I walk by. If I dont feel it it bugs me.

The strangest thing of all about my rhythm OCD, is the fact that if I’m listening to music, it goes away. I rarely listen to music at school, but if I do, opening my locker is extremely easy.

Aside from the fact that it CAN drive me crazy, I do not really suffer from my OCD. I actually find it quite cool. I can tap my feet to almost every rhythm on the first try…even if I’ve never heard of before. If I hear the beginning I can do most of the song without really messing up.

I hope you enjoyed this! Follow me, and as always, comment!!!!!

Mack

My Life

My name is Mack Ottens. I’m 15 years old and from upstate New York.
I’ve created this purely for the sake of ending the horrifying amount of boredom I have encountered. I always have something to do, school wise, but my own procrastination and utter lazy ness usually changes my field of view on doing the work. You may be thinking: “Wow, another lazy ass”. Yet you have no idea who I am to judge me for that. I’m on High Honor Roll. Didn’t see that coming now did we? I’m extremely “smart”. “Smart” is, in my opinion, a generally loose term to describe someone. The amount of common sense I’ve acquired through the event in my life have shaped me to be who I am today. I may be 15, but mentally, my age is much older. Many people think I’m quite comical. I enjoy to make people laugh. I do Cross Country, Track, Volleyball,  Triathlons, and hopefully soon I can begin Boxing. Life is extremely exciting to me. I often find myself lost in the thoughts of what happens after one passes on, but it helps me live in the moment. To me, you should not regret anything. Things happen for a reason so no matter what you did, or who you did for that matter, has happened and is over with, so live on. My father always worked night shift, so I never got to see him. My parents divorced when I was around 8 or so. My dad moved from place to place, (the change of scenery I enjoyed). Remember, I live in upstate New York. My father recently moved to a town called “Homosassa” Florida. Yes that is the real name. He moved down there to be with “The love of his life”. They got together down there and lived with each other. I came to visit for all of July. My father unjustly lost his job so money was tight. We went to the beach quite often because it was close. The day before my birthday, (July 30th) we found ourselves packing his items into his Pontiac G6. Him and his fiance had broken up for good. Luckily, my cousins live a short hour away so we went there. I went back to NY on August 1st. Since then, my father HSS found himself on the other coast of Florida, with a job in printing. He has always loved printing. His job pays pretty well and he is begining to love life once again. Now you may think that me telling you all this would be way to personal. But you’re incorrect, because I’m quite proud of the fact that throughout my life, very many bad things have happened, but I’ve been able to handle it. Its the reason I’m so “smart”. I’ve coped with these devastating events by just listening to music. I’m not trying to act like my life is horrible. Because I know that somewhere, someone is dealing with something far worse than I ever will. That’s enough for today. Follow me or whatever you call it!

Mack.